I have always been a lucky person.

Not the win the lottery kinda lucky. Not the “invest in this ground breaking company “ kinda lucky. And certainly not the “eat whatever you want and never gain an ounce” kinda lucky.

But I had the sort of good fortune that meant never really studying but somehow what I did remember was always on the test. The type of luck where I mournfully watched my bank account go dangerously low and somehow miraculously a cheque arrives in the mail. I guess the kind of luck, where I always felt that I got what I wanted. As long as it wasn’t too big or too extravagant.

Now all I want to be is courageous and strong. Surrounded by loving, resolute, brave souls that will embrace and encourage me. The definition of who I am must expand in order to survive what is to come. The words I use to describe myself are changing. Like clothing that is ill-fitting, I will need to dispose of everything that no longer suits me. That I understand all too well.

Still…..I wonder.

How did I suddenly end up here?

Was the world being especially kind to me? Did it know the trials and tribulations that I would soon face, so up until now it was willing to ease some of my every day worries?

Or could it be; that the world is saying, “ despite all you must bare ….you will endure. “

I honestly couldn’t tell you the answer.

If Luck is the combination of preparedness and opportunity, how is it possible to reach beyond this tragedy?

Of all the things I feel, lucky just isn’t one of them.