“That’s all you can do in this world, no matter how strong the current beats against you, or how heavy your burden, or how tragic your love story. You keep going.”~Robyn Schneider

I confess that some days moving forward is unbearable. The weight of grief is heavy and the guilt intense. It feels endless.

Yesterday was a day of reflection and remembrance for a beautiful young man. Scott and I read each post and were humbled by the number of candles lit. We were comforted by support near and far. We felt loved and blessed.

There were tears. And laughter. Two sides of a double edged sword.

I almost believed that I could get through February 17 unscathed.

What a fool I am.

I woke this morning to my Facebook memories, each scroll filled with my son’s missing poster.

Is it possible to keep repairing that which continually breaks ?

Ryan John Marcus.

Dad, the girls and I miss you so much. Nothing is the same since you’ve been gone. Everyone that loves you hurts. Your cousins, aunts and uncles. Your grandparents and every one of your friends miss and mourn you.

Today I don’t want to move forward. I just want the world to stop. Give me time to breathe.