Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.
– Oscar Wilde
Cannes, France is one of the most appealing cities on the French Riviera. Best known, of course, for the Cannes Film Festival. It is a haven for the rich and the famous. Naturally Julianna wants to live here when she grows up. Somehow I don’t doubt that she will do whatever she sets her mind to. Perhaps, she won’t mind me tagging along.
At times, I pinch myself at the places that I have been able to travel to. Farther than my wildest dreams to be sure. I am thankful to my career in the airline industry that allows me to explore the corners of this world. I have only scratched the surface. Every time I travel, I discover somewhere else that piques my interest.
It is insatiable really.
Scott liked to gently remind me that just because I had 7 weeks of dedicated vacation, combined with some creative trading to extend each week, I didn’t always have to plan to go away. Preposterous! Surely one can see the absurdity in such a statement.
“Vacations aren’t free, you know.”, he would say mildly. His tone belied the crease on his forehead, the furrowing of his brow.
But I had no cares. Even when things felt tight financially, I always had optimism. I had this steadfast reasoning: It won’t always be this way, the kids will grow and leave the nest. Finances can improve. Memories should be made, ones the kids can remember. Explore while you are young and healthy. Time is not guaranteed to anyone.
Funny isn’t it? My only goal was to run away and have my soul soar. To entrench this feeling into my children. Scott’s was to provide for our family and ensure their stability.
We both have regrets. I suppose that will always be the way. I wish I had been more conscious of the spending so that Scott could fully enjoy our time away. To know that one does not have to travel far to come back forever changed. Scott wishes he could have stolen some of my optimism (blind foolish faith). To recognize time is precious and that occasionally, it is okay to let go and embrace uncertainty.
I doubt I will ever be rich.
Life has delivered me a catastrophe and yet I have discovered grace. There is a richness in the souls that surround me now. And I think I shall never be poor.