On the second anniversary of Ryan’s disappearance , our family had a quiet at home day watching home movies. Bittersweet but full of so much laughter and love. Mostly at Scott and his constant nonsensical taping of us doing mundane things.

I think early 2000 Scott and current day Scott would totally get along. Best of friends even. That is apparent as my handsome husband comments on the scene laid out before him onscreen.
Moments later, the exact sentiment is echoed by young Scott.
The clothing may have changed , thank goodness, the frosted tips in the hair have gone (the angels sing hallelujah) but the soul of this man has remained.

My favourite moment was Scott taking the kids to the park while we were on vacation in Key Largo. Maybe part of me was happy to think I was back at the condo blissfully enjoying the silence.

In the video, you can hear Jordyn screaming Daddy, Daddy watch me” as she swung across the monkey bars and made her way back. “I’m going to fall, catch me “ she smiles coquettishly.

Out of no where, Ryan runs to grab her. Shocked, Jordyn lets go and falls into his arms. She grabs onto his hair pulling as they tumble to the ground. He yelps a little before getting a fistful of sand in his face by an angry 6 1/2 year old girl who did not get the response she required.
In her defense, Ryan did yell “rawwwwrrr” as he approached her, startling not only her but Scott.

My calm husband never puts down the camera as he continues to record. He does however admonish his daughter, “ Pixie doodle, please don’t pull your brothers hair, Okay baby ?” Honestly on video it was hard to hear if it was a warning or a plea.

Ryan angrily walks away, spitting sand and muttering “wuss ” under his breath before turning his attention to his younger sister.

You could tell my boy was still smarting from his earlier humiliation as both kids try skating around the parking lot with their brand new heelies. Ryan watches Jordyn struggle to find her stride as he wheels around her, joyously proclaiming how easy it is. One would think it was as challenging as completing the worlds most death defying stunt just by sheer skill alone.

It was not the right time to remind him that 2 weeks previously, we had to show Jordyn a video on how to use them so she could practically explain the motions to her older brother. And that it took some time. A lot of time.

Still a 10 year old boy has his pride.

This was our life. Full of memories, some beautifully simple and some not so. But through it all, we have always been a fierce family unit.

Scott has been the brick and mortar of our foundation. The structure that holds us straight, protects us from the outside elements and makes us feel safe. The walls of our house surround us with his comforting love and absolute acceptance.

Another birthday comes, my love. I wish I could tell you it will get better but the lie dies on my lips. I can only tell you that you give us the strength to move forward, make new memories and remember our past.

Happy Birthday Scott.