You know I stayed home for 12 years before I ventured back to work part time.
Contrary to what my youngest daughter Julianna might think, I used to bake and do crafts all the time. My house was filled with play dates and freshly baked cookies.
Oh please don’t think I was this sweet or perfect mom who dedicated her life to her kids. I mean, yes I did of course. But I learned early on, play dates meant less whining “ Mommy, can you please play LEGO with me” and “ Mommy, we are hungry”. I was oh so clever. The path of less resistance was my motto.
Was there drawbacks? Well I may have done more for my kids then I initially intended. They were well behaved but perhaps not as independent as one would like.
After all, Ryan was 8 ish when he finally learned how to tie his shoes. In my defence, that is a stupid skill to teach and they made super cool Velcro shoes.
In the first couple of days after Ryan went missing, I wondered if I taught my kids enough. Was this somehow a result of my not preparing him enough?
I don’t suppose it will come as any surprise, I wanted to analyze where this all went wrong. And if there is no one to blame, then perhaps the fault lies with me.
But as time goes by and the weeks drag on, I have spent a lot of time reflecting.
Ryan was brave enough to venture from his home to embark on a dream. He had confidence in his ability to navigate the world.
My seventeen year daughter has the strength and courage to be at home and go through grade 12. She pays bills, shops and is growing into this beautiful confident woman.
Julianna continues to be funny and bright and fierce. She listens to the heaviness of the adult conversation and yet still manages to be a kid.
Maybe I didn’t do so bad after all. @ Sun Peaks Resort