“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light”. ~ Buddha.

Ego vs soul.

I confess that this is a struggle that I contend with daily. To do things based on how it feeds my ego. Like a omnipresent force that continuously tells me that my worth is dependent on what the world thinks of me. That loves the titles and descriptions given to me: mother, wife, smart, friend, pretty, funny… To stretch and reach to recognize the steady whisper of my soul. Persistent and strong, it reminds me that I am most at ease when I honour my spiritual self. To look for purpose, to dedicate myself to something other just the social trappings, to find freedom in the things I love with no expectations. In truth, we need a healthy relationship with both. The trick has always been to find a balance.

Luckily, the world offers examples that serve as reminders.

Each year, I visit my parents in Florida. And every time, we always find ourselves in Tarpon Springs. It is a beautiful Greek fishing village that is the spongediving capital of Florida.

In the midst of the town square, stands a man. His face covered with a medical mask, his arm wrapped in gauze, barely hiding a portable IV, playing to the crowd on his violin. This is the not the first time I have seen him or heard him play. But this year is different. This year, he confides that he has been diagnosed with blood cancer. A young man with a beautiful young wife and 2 beautiful young children, life has grown uncertain. But not without love. He plays surrounded by his extended family. Peaceful smiles grace their faces. It is this scene that gives me pause. This man soothes my soul. He inspires me. Because despite or perhaps in-spite of the challenges that might face him, the uncertainty that life can bring ; he creates beauty.

In a world full of naysayers, where it is common place for people so mired in pain and sorrow that they can cast forth only negative energy ; it feels more rare to see love and to feel blissful joy.

I admit that somedays I find myself as deep in the pit of churlish and disgruntled despair as the next person. I want to focus on my troubles, my grief.

Until I see a ladder whose rings of salvation offer me a way up and out.

Wherever you find yourself now ask; what is the beauty that exists? What fuels your soul?

And if, it is no where to be found then find yourself a damn ladder.

That pit may be a resting place but it is not your home. So crawl, claw or climb a rung at a time and reach the warmth of the sun.

This world needs your uniqueness, your ego and your soul.

The world is in need of your beauty.