Heather’s Blog

When did we become so judgemental?

I always said that I was observational, but perhaps they mean the same. Mine is just prettier because I tie a bow on top and call it by a different name.

I am not who I was.

From the moment you start to date it is: “When are you getting married? Oooh you know men don’t buy the cow if the milk is free…”

You take the plunge.

And then it is: “When are you having children? Oooh you aren’t getting any younger…”

The time becomes right. The barrage of questions begin in earnest.

“What did you decide for a name? ….oooh my cousins ex fiancé had that name. I don’t like her…” and “Are you giving birth naturally? ….. oooh I delivered and went to the gym the next day..”

You think the judgements will stop. Not true. From parenting decisions, to house locations, to clothing choices, to holiday vacations…we feel as a public we have the right to an opinion. And the right to express it. Freely.

As we grow, perhaps we wrap it in a sweeter package but the effect is still the same. In essence we say: You are different from me but we must be the same. How can we have harmony if we have diversity?

I have learned….

Each person is born and raised with a value system, unique to them and their environment. What we consider our top ten, may be someone else’s bottom five. Why can’t that be okay? What if we just accepted it? Freely.

I honestly thought my parenting decisions were based on sound, logical and common sense practices. How could I, in good conscience, not allow you to benefit from my successes? So I offered it. Freely.


I couldn’t save my son.

He was a grown adult with a mind of his own. Brilliant and vast, he was able to process and assess his own experiences and choose his own path.


February 17th, he made a decision that led us all here. Not on purpose. Not to his benefit. Much to everyone’s never ending sorrow.

But I don’t judge him for that.

Because I am not the same.

@ Sun Peaks Resort