Amidst the bouquet of flowers, the warm glow of sunshine as it kisses the skin, the gentle breeze delicately bringing with it the sweet smell of spring, the time spent surrounded by the love of my family, I take stock and admit I feel blessed on this Mother’s Day.

I walk in gratitude. I succumb to the abundance that trails behind me. I acknowledge that I am loved and because of this, I give love wholly and completely.

Today I celebrate being a mother.

I was raised by a strong determined woman, and for most of my life I have been influenced by brave, fierce and beautiful souls, some mothers, some not. It is not the mother I look for but for the human connection that comes from loving something completely beyond yourself.

It is a gift that I was given to become a mother to 3 extraordinary children. A present of limited time, an inestimable privilege to care and nurture these beautiful humans. How could I feel anything but blessed?

I will admit:

Today I miss my son. I miss his quirky humor, that smirk that managed to be both kind and mischievous and the love he bestowed on me. That is the mother in me ; to miss what is not in front of me. But what hurts the most is the pause in an otherwise promising future. The infinite possibilities that will forever be lost.

Missing my baby will never wane. As my love is unconditional so shall my grief be.

But I am still a mother even if we are all not together.

I celebrated each child’s birth and grew as they inevitably did. I showered them with all the love that I possessed and felt the warmth of it’s reciprocity.

Today is not the same. For me, it never will be again. The grief and the sadness cuts me too deeply.

Yet, a mother I remain. Of three. Still loved, still cherished and still needed.

“A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood.” ~ Charlotte Kasl

I am blessed