Heather’s Blog

There is nothing to fear except fear itself.

What a moronic phrase, in my opinion.

There is so much to be afraid of.

Fear of: pain, being alone, unrequited love, injury, failure, sickness and so on and so on.

Most times, fears are deeply rooted in alternate realities. They are just things that COULD happen, not that they necessarily will. Our imaginations will create such fantastical tales, it is a wonder we ever attempt anything.

However.

Fear can also be what drives or motivates you.

Venturing outside the norm, stepping off the precipice or grabbing opportunities that are just a little past your reach can be incredibly rewarding and life altering.

It is finding the balance, I suppose, between being cautious and being optimistic.

Children seem to be born without fear.

Maybe that is a blessing. For a short period of time before, we as parents impose our own fears, children are free. Free to believe, to try, to fail and to cope.

Some days, I wish I could curl up on my father’s lap with his comforting hand on my head as he gently pats my back. “There there Pooh Bear. It will all be okay. Everything will be okay”

Because it won’t be.

I fear.

I fear so much. I fear we will never find Ryan. I fear that this nightmare will never be over. I fear the image we present if one of us leaves to go home. I fear the whispering that suggests alternative realities about Ryan’s disappearance.

But at least I am honest in my fears. I am not crippled by them yet.

I also know that I will never fear the same things again.

The things I feared before

all of this.

I don’t fear what comes after. I believe.

I don’t fear how much I can take before I break. I am stronger then I thought. I can survive this. I will survive this.

My fear motivates me.

@ Sun Peaks Resort

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