I think my philosophy concerning life up until now may be a little skewed.
I am going to be completely honest with you. I don’t know how to change a tire. I hate shovelling the snow or mowing the lawn. I’m not really a painter or a fixer. I’m okay with that. In a zombie apocalypse, I feel like I need to know three things:
1) how to ride a motorcycle
2) how to shoot a gun
3) how to fashion eyelashes out of mink hair…or porcupine needles
Despite, what some might call my supreme limitations, I have high hopes for my daughters. Isn’t that the way though? You want the accomplishments of your children to outshine yours. I pray that my girls are stronger, smarter and braver then me. I wish for beauty not only on the outside but the inside as well and a confidence in how they view and receive the world.
Perhaps that puts pressure on them but in reality, I just want them to be happy. Not my version of happy. I want Jordyn and Julianna to pave their way through life and make a mark that is utterly their own.
The irony is, I had no such expectations of Ryan. I have no idea what it is like to be a boy so I thought whatever he was doing was fine. I understand now that the ease of our relationship was based on my complete acceptance of him.
I always wondered if I did my girls a disservice in that regard.
But as I looked around today, I realize my fears are unfounded.
Today as we searched for our 13th week straight, I did it with a tribe of strong beautiful women. Two of them were my daughters.
If my girls are to learn anything, I want them to know that it is not necessary to move mountains with just brute strength alone. Sometimes it is the whisper of a voice that says you are capable of more then you know and a quiet insistence that courage comes when you need it most.
We are uniquely individual. We are all imperfectly perfect. I can finally see the beauty in that.