Once I was the fastest in the family.
This is how it went according to 8 year old Ryan: Mommy, Ryan, Max (the dog), Daddy and Jordyn.
Don’t laugh, it was proven. We ran races at the lake all the time. I always won.
Then I ruptured my Achilles’ tendon, playing indoor soccer. And my reign was over. The Dr told me no running sports for 9-12 months. I lamented “ What am I suppose to do now?” Scott with a mischievous glint in his eye replied “Oh I know.” 10 months later, Julianna was born.
I sat on the side lines watching as Ryan got faster. Playing soccer, my game. I may have been petulant but still I cheered him on. God, he was like the wind. Soccer, baseball, football or rugby… it was like nothing could stop him.
If nothing else, I am stubborn. I worked hard to run again. Each day, on holidays, at the lake, I ran.
I may never be as fast as Ryan but I can still beat Scott.
“Scott, I registered for soccer.” I proudly announced. “Um, babe. Do you think that’s wise?” was the cautious response. “It’s not competitive.” I said a bit snappishly. “ Well, I just think you may not be strong enough”. The sound of silence deafening.
Oh I played alright. And ruptured my other Achilles Tendon. Ryan looked at me with disbelief, sadly shaking his head. Scott, to his everlasting survival, avoided looking at me at all.
I will get strong again. I did it once, I can do it again. But even if I could run fast or run far… I will never be able to outrun the grief that dogs my every step.
In my mind, I still see Ryan, laughing as he chases after me.
Baby, I pray the paths are wide and soft and you have miles to run with Max at your side.
@ Sun Peaks Resort