Our life is not a movie.
There isn’t 10 minutes left before it’s ending and you just know that resolution has to be right around the corner. There is no musical tempo that reaches its crescendo alerting you to the knowledge that the director’s vision has come to a head.
We sat here for two days, waiting. Wondering what finding Ryan would look like. Would it be today? Would it be a random Tuesday ? A birthday wish finally granted? The result of a concerted effort from an organized search group? Does it come 3 1/2 years? 10 years? Never?
If our life were a movie, I believe It would be a train ride with no vista in sight; just a long, arduous journey. Moving forward past rail stations filled with bustling happiness and storybook lives that we no longer fit in. In our plot, Scott and I are the only passengers that are conscripted to stay. We watch as the world passes by wondering if the next stop is ours. There are those we know and love that are able to join us time to time to spell off the loneliness and grief but the tickets are in our name only.
I’m grateful to have the RCMP come this weekend. Much has been accomplished. I still have faith that Ryan will be found. When, is unclear but my director’s cut tells me that our son could have no better advocates than Scott and I.
Not every movie has a happy ending. But some stories still need to be told.
Let me grieve today. Tomorrow I will stand again.