What would you do?

If you were me?

If your child had gone missing without a trace?

What mountains would you move??

Every morning I wake up with an optimism that today is the day. And each night I go to bed thinking that I failed my first born.

But oh it’s the time in between that hurts the most.

I remember.

I miss the smell of his baby boy hair just fresh from the bath. The way he snuggled into me like I was a security blanket he was afraid to let go of.

I miss his sarcasm, the way he left muddy boot prints on my newly washed floor and the times that he would run through the house chasing the dog so that the barking and yelling interrupted everyone.

I miss his crooked smile and the pride he felt when he scored a goal, a touchdown or a try. I miss the way my house was a haven for his friends and my pantry was filled with empty boxes of snacks.

I miss his hugs. I miss the way he told me how much he loved me. I miss my son.

The mountain seems insurmountable and yet still I must climb it.

So I ask you, what would you do if you found yourself in my situation?

I hope that you will be better then me.

But by god, I pray that you never have to.